Life is so miraculous; you have to go through the ups and downs of life (no one could avoid this unless you born with a silver spoon but yet still he/she will confront with other issues). As for my past experience; love will bloom as time goes by, the older you are, the more matured you will become on the topic of "reality of love", but it always turning the other way round; i.e. the one who really loved you would not have been your wife/husband, on the contrary, the one whom you really loved would be other s wife/husband. My view is; to be loved wholeheartedly by someone is more fortunate than to love someone whom he/she would not appreciate. As one will reckoned the emotion/sentiment under such circumstances.....One has to sense personally for such scenario which I can hardly described with black and white.
Subsequently, there will be no answer as it differs from case to case and I leave it to all of you to explore the right answer!