1. I m not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.
2. I m in shape. Round is a shape.
3. Ever notice that anyone driving slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
4. Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it s because they re such beautiful animals. I think my girlfriend is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
5. I ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.